Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Just a spin on the perspective!

"How does pain affect your independence? Do you push yourself too hard? Do you hide the fact that you're in pain? Is it hard to ask for help?
I was invited to address these questions, along with several other people who blog about pain, by HowToCopeWithPain http://www.howtocopewithpain.org/ To read the other posts on this topic click on the link to the left of this page under "crps/rsd related articles" to the left of this page.

There is a tremendous sense of loss mixed with a certain amount of anger and disbelief when something as profoundly life changes as chronic pain affects us. It’s normal to clutch on to what we perceive as our independence, to try and still do the things that seem to define us as a valued human being. It’s particularly hard if we are used to the role of caring and helping others. This aspect of having to ask others for help I found particularly hard. My dying friend helped me realize that by allowing people to help her, people felt they were doing something for her and felt good about themselves.

With chronic pain, the plain fact is that if you push yourself too hard and over do things, the “pay for it” recovery time is long. It’s one step forward and two steps back. It isn’t easy. I hate asking to get my needs met but I’ve had to change my thinking on this and look at life as full of opportunities.

In a recent discussion in relation to children Rain, co-owner of the google group crps/rsd taking control wrote

"This may sound strange, but if your children assist you with
ANYTHING!, it makes them empowered, and helps them find strength in
themselves. This is a lesson that we all have to learn at some point,
we are what makes ourselves strong or weak. It is not everyday of our
lives that Mom or Dad will be holding our hands. It also gives them a
sense of learning compassion and giving
. You have a chance to see them grow, learn, and become people.

Before I got sick, I was really busy with work, and now, I
see so much of what I missed over the years with almost everything I
come in contact with. My sights have changed into what should have
been important all my life.

I am grateful for getting ill as much as I hate it. I see my family,
I enjoy the savor of my meals and I smell the flowers. This is a
gift!

Redefining who I am. Not who I used to be.

Just a spin on the perspective!"

5 comments:

htcwp said...

Very nice post. Thanks for participating!

jeisea said...

It was a pleasure to take part.

Usiku (oo-SEE-koo) said...

This reminds me of the saying, "It's better to give than to receive." I disagree. Giving and receiving go together like inhaling and exhaling. We each need to learn to do both in turn; thereby keeping the cycle unbroken.

Diana said...

I think it will be incredibly empowering when I can let go of the resentment I feel about my health and just live. I admire people who are in that place and able to enjoy their lives to the fullest despite their limitations.

jeisea said...

Hi Diana
I know where you're coming from. It's really hard to accept what life has thrown us. I floundered around trying to work out who this new me was. I'm still trying but I have come to accept what has happened. I hope at some point you are able to as well because then you can focus on your future. Taking control and making your own choices instead of letting someone tell you what is best for you is a great start. Hope all goes well for you. Take care of you.
jeisea

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